Before we get to that, we begin with Tamra and Eddie in the limo on their way to Vicki and Donn’s house. Tamra is schooling Eddie about them and she gives a great impression of Vicki. And remember Ed, if you are in, you’re in with Vic – if you’re out, you will be ridiculed and talked about until you can’t take it anymore and you break up.
They enter the Gunvalson home while Donn finds Eddie attractive and offers up a shot of tequila. They are hitting it off. One down, the big one to go. Vicki finally makes an appearance and how good is the editing to show Vicki looking like she didn’t even see Ed standing there? Finally she makes eye contact, give a quick hello. He seems nice she says, but the verdict is still out on him.
At Peggy & Micah’s house they are preparing for their annual dinner party. The famous chef who Micah was such an ass to the other week is in their kitchen preparing a 5 course meal for their guests. “Do you have all the equipment you need?” Yes. “Do you need anything?” No. “Do you forgive me for treating you like you are a cook and not a famous chef?” Sure, but I am going to spit in your food for sure. Perfect. Pegs goes upstairs where her makeup artist is waiting to do her up. Isn’t it amazing how self indulgent these people are that they can’t even do their own hair or makeup? It’s not like they were going to the Oscars for God’s sake, it was a dinner party!
Gretchen was the first to arrive at Pegs & Micah’s. Unfortunately Slade could not come with because a story just came out in the press about him being a dead beat dad and he was at home eating a tubba wubba of ice cream. Gretch told everyone that he was spending time with his boys. And with his boys she meant, his ((lower)) boys. **wink wink**. She did however bring her gay friend as support. In regard to Slade’s bad press she said "I feel like I've been dealt a pretty hard hand." ((Really Gretch? YOU have been dealt a hard hand. Tell that to Slade’s son who has a brain tumor. You selfish wench.
Alexis arrives also without her man but with her gay male assistant. Now what exactly Jesus Barbie needs an assistant for, no one seems to know. Jesus Barbie explained that Jim had a business dinner and couldn’t make it. The other guests are questioning this because as Vicki said “They knew about this for over a month and you arrange your business around it”.
The fab four show up. Gretch tells gay friend “Great, the bitches are here”. ((Perfect, we are off to a great start)). They all meet and size up Ed. On the patio, Pegs always hoping for that next hosting job, grabs a microphone to speak to her 12 guests and introduces the next Sade who flew in from New York just to sing to them. How chic is that? Sade starts singing. Tam & Ed start dancing. Gretch starts to turn into the Hulk and turns 5 shades of green. Alexis is watching with sadness in her eyes. She picks up her pink phone and starts texting.
They all sit down for their first course when green Gretch’s friend says to her that he recognized Ed from that months bargain in an escort catalog. Gretch gets her cackle on. Tam looks at her and says “I heard that”. Donn feeling his shots and his alcohol then says Jesus Barbie’s assistant looks like Pee Wee Herman. Micah also getting beer muscles said he looked like he could be Jim’s stunt double. Pee Wee assures him that he is not because he is younger.
Jesus Barbie removes herself from the table. She will be gone for the first, second, third and forth courses of the five course meal. She goes into the bathroom, phone in hand and prays to baby Jesus to let some real tears fall from her eyes. She feigns talking to Jim saying “This is so much harder than I thought. I can’t do this without you”.
Green Gretch decides to go check on Jesus Barbie. Before she lets green Gretch in, she dabs water from the faucet under her eyes to make it look like she was crying. She gives the sob story that she never goes anywhere with her honey and this was hard, blah, blah, blah. Green Gretch is trying to get her to pull it together damn it because all of those bitches at the table are talking about her.
Tam & Vic decide that they too need to use the rest room. Realizing Jesus Barbie and green Gretch are in there together, Vic sits down on a chair while Tam puts her ear to door trying to hear what those two are saying.
Jesus Barbie assures green Gretch that she will be out in a minute. Green Gretch returns to the table. Micah finds this the opportune time to say he would never allow Pegs to bring a “stand him” for him if he weren’t available to go someone with her. ((Maybe that’s because Micah isn’t a King like Jim)).
Everyone is having a lovely meal. The food is great, the wines are perfect and the company is well, interesting. What’s that? Jesus Barbie is still MIA.
Pegs is getting pissed off. She put a lot of effort into finding the perfect help to pull this together. She wants Micah to check on her. He shakes his head no. Gretch offers to go once again so she can help her powder her face. This opened the door for Vicki to give a lesson on how easy it is to powder one’s own face! Tam looks at her and says to Vick; maybe you can help me powder my ass. ((Oh snap)).
Jesus Barbie confesses to Gretch that Jim wasn’t really working; he didn’t want to be around “that” group of people. What? What is that? Jesus Barbie told a LIE?? How dreadful!
FINALLY, Jesus Barbie comes back to the table wanting to know where her steak is then starts her “poor me” speech about how hard it is to be somewhere without Jim because they never do anything apart. ((Well that may have been true last season, but she sure seems to be going a lot of places this year without him – twice lately just to do Watch What Happens Live)).
Jesus Barbie sits down next to Pegs to do her version of an apology then quickly changed her tune by saying things like “I wish you would be more understanding. I thought you would have been more considerate. The one thing I needed was for my best friend to be understanding and you were attacking me”.
Pegs wasn’t having any of Jesus Barbie’s B.S. She replied “You’re holding me responsible for you not having a good time? It seems like you and Jim don’t care about us anymore. We ask you to do things but you never answer”. To which Jesus Barbie said “Between my kids, Jim and working out I barely have 2 minutes to spare in a day”. BAHAHAHAHA – that ‘honey do’ list Jim gives to Jesus Barbie every morning at breakfast must be really long! Wait! They have a nanny or two. Just why is Jesus Barbie so busy??
Tam pipes in and says it isn’t the right time for that conversation. Let’s all hold hands and sing kumbaya. Sade, that’s your cue to start singing again. Like a flick of a light switch, Jesus Barbie jumps on the dance floor looking two sheets to the wind. She was grinding on green Gretch and dancing with her gay assistant. ((Oh Jim isn’t going to be happy when he sees her behavior – he is never going to let her go anywhere again without him)).
The fab four decide to leave. Someone made a comment about how now the party could start. Pegs was throwing up her dinner. Jesus Barbie turned her phone off. Green Gretch was asking gay male friend if he was REALLY gay.
All in all another great time in the O.C.
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