I admit that I don’t watch this show regularly. However every now and again, I venture into this show when I need a good reason to SMDH (shake my damn head). On the episode called “House Divided”, the “E’s” Ronnie & Sammie are still fighting. They have a love/hate relationship. They also are jealous of one another. Ronnie is piss...ed off because Sammie was texting another dude after she broke up with Ronnie (for the hundredth time). He cries. She cries. The E’s are boring me. They need major therapy. Ronnie needs to cut with the juicing (and I’m not talking about Jack LaLanne’s healthy juicer here).
Snooki is developing real feelings for her friend with benefits, Vinny. He brought a girl home and banged her. Snook’s cried herself to sleep. She doesn’t understand why Vinny would turn to another a girl when he could have Snook. Maybe Snooki could go to therapy with the E’s. I think she needs it. Friends with benefits decide to go out for a hamburger. Ms. Snooks spots “beer battered onion rings” on the menu and asks the waitress if that means onions with beer. The waitress says yes. Snooki is surprised when the waitress brings them to the table. She was expecting a bowl of beer with onions. ((SMHD)).
Deena emerges stuffed into a denim jumper that looks like she wore it when she was 10 years old. The house makes fun of her. She doesn’t like that. Later she plays with a cardboard box, putting it over her head pretending she is in a spaceship. YOUNG GIRLS, THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO GET AN EDUCATION! Deena needs to be on a poster ad for MORONS.
Pauly has a stalker named Danielle who “happened” to show up at the same club he was at. She asks him if he is still done with “Grenades”. He says” yes”. She replies “Do you want me to punch you”? He says “Do what you need to do”. Oh Pauly, you are so sensitive. Time to go home. Pauly & Vinny scan the club and find 2 chicks who are “DTF” (down to fuck) (God kids these days have the coolest abbreviations EVA).
Snooki is developing real feelings for her friend with benefits, Vinny. He brought a girl home and banged her. Snook’s cried herself to sleep. She doesn’t understand why Vinny would turn to another a girl when he could have Snook. Maybe Snooki could go to therapy with the E’s. I think she needs it. Friends with benefits decide to go out for a hamburger. Ms. Snooks spots “beer battered onion rings” on the menu and asks the waitress if that means onions with beer. The waitress says yes. Snooki is surprised when the waitress brings them to the table. She was expecting a bowl of beer with onions. ((SMHD)).
Deena emerges stuffed into a denim jumper that looks like she wore it when she was 10 years old. The house makes fun of her. She doesn’t like that. Later she plays with a cardboard box, putting it over her head pretending she is in a spaceship. YOUNG GIRLS, THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO GET AN EDUCATION! Deena needs to be on a poster ad for MORONS.
Pauly has a stalker named Danielle who “happened” to show up at the same club he was at. She asks him if he is still done with “Grenades”. He says” yes”. She replies “Do you want me to punch you”? He says “Do what you need to do”. Oh Pauly, you are so sensitive. Time to go home. Pauly & Vinny scan the club and find 2 chicks who are “DTF” (down to fuck) (God kids these days have the coolest abbreviations EVA).
Back at the shore house, they are chilling and there is a knock at the door. It’s the brother of one of the girls wanting to know how they are going to get home. He can take them now or pick them up in the morning. The polite boys say she can go now but her friend can stay. OUCH! The girls leave.
Vinny can’t put boner down, so he seeks Snooki out. She turns him down. She says “I’m not anybody’s last resort. I’m somebody’s first priority.” ((Really Snooks? Name names. Come on, I dare you)). Yeah, that’s what I thought
Ronnie’s mom decides it is a good idea to call the house while she is TANKED! Deena answers and mom tells her how tan she is. Like an Indian she says. Then she proceeds to tell Deena that she loves her to which Deena answers “Uh okay”. Unable to take the conversation anymore, she hands the phone to Mike “The Situation”. Mike thinks its okay to tell drunken mom that Sammi is screwing with her son’s head and heart.
On the party patio the friends start talking about the E’s. The boys feel Sammi is a prostitution whorah because of the text messages to the dude while she and Ronni were ON A BREAK! Jwowwww tells the E’s they should just start over because he cheated on Sam in Miami and Sam text this guy. No! No Jwowwww it isn’t the same. That is not even Steven. Not even close. Mike wants to call the dude and straighten it all out. He and Sammi exchange words where he says to her “You are the worst argument person ever”. ((Did I mention the importance of getting an education here people?)).
Vinny can’t put boner down, so he seeks Snooki out. She turns him down. She says “I’m not anybody’s last resort. I’m somebody’s first priority.” ((Really Snooks? Name names. Come on, I dare you)). Yeah, that’s what I thought
Ronnie’s mom decides it is a good idea to call the house while she is TANKED! Deena answers and mom tells her how tan she is. Like an Indian she says. Then she proceeds to tell Deena that she loves her to which Deena answers “Uh okay”. Unable to take the conversation anymore, she hands the phone to Mike “The Situation”. Mike thinks its okay to tell drunken mom that Sammi is screwing with her son’s head and heart.
On the party patio the friends start talking about the E’s. The boys feel Sammi is a prostitution whorah because of the text messages to the dude while she and Ronni were ON A BREAK! Jwowwww tells the E’s they should just start over because he cheated on Sam in Miami and Sam text this guy. No! No Jwowwww it isn’t the same. That is not even Steven. Not even close. Mike wants to call the dude and straighten it all out. He and Sammi exchange words where he says to her “You are the worst argument person ever”. ((Did I mention the importance of getting an education here people?)).
The phone call is made where Ronni grabs the phone and asks text dude if he hooked up with Sam. He says no, but they made out. OMG THEY MADE OUT?????? Oh the horror. To quote Ross from “Friends”, THEY WERE ON A BREAK.
Jersey Shore just had their season finale. The cast is going to Italy to shoot next season. Is it terrible that I hope they lose their passports while they are there?
No comments:
Post a Comment